family

What do you think of when you hear the word "family"?

What do we mean when we use the word "family" around Grace?

We received some thought-provoking feedback the other day from one of our beloved and involved singles who described feeling put off and left out by our promotion of the "Grace Family Campout." Having come to the campout in the past, he said he is not coming this year, because the event is "for families." He also went on to say something to the effect that singles are "second class citizens at Grace and at most churches".

It saddens me to hear all this...

It saddens me because this is obviously how this single feels. Its his reality. Even if every single at Grace doesn't feel this way, this one does.

It saddens me because this person misunderstands our heart and hope for the body of Christ at Grace.

When we use the term "family", we almost always, and especially when referring to the "Church Family Campout" use it in a dual sense. In one sense, the campout (and other events and programs we host) exists for the strengthening of the nuclear family. We believe "the nuclear family" is one of three God-ordained institutions along with the church and the state." As such, we believe we have a responsibility to do all we can to support, encourage and build up "families" especially in these days as we see the breakdown and redefinition of the traditional family. I want to be unapologetic in our commitment to family in this sense. I don't want to give away the term "family" because singles might feel put off in our use of it.

But there is a second sense intended when we use the term "family" and that's the idea of the "Church Family"." This second sense is definitely what we have in mind in the designation "Church Family Campout." Isn't it striking that the Bible repeatedly casts the church in "family" language? We are adopted into God's family as His sons. We are brothers and sisters of the household of God, our Father. The Bible intends that we belong to the one another like family, love one another and be committed to one another like brothers and sisters. We (singles, marrieds, families, young, old) are family! This is truly our hope and heart with the "Church Family Campout" and most of our other "family billed" events . . . that they would foster and facilitate the growth and building up of the church family.

Surely we can do better communicating these twin aims/intentions in our use of the word "family." I don't think they are mutually exclusive. We must pursue them both.

Together let's make sure we're welcoming and purposefully including all who enter or continue in the circle of Grace. No one left out. No one put off.

I welcome your thoughts and reflections . . .

Let love of the brethren continue. --Hebrews 13:1

Friesens on Focus

My good friends and occasional teachers here at Grace, Paul and Virginia Friesen, along with their daughters, Cari, Lisa and Julie, were featured on the Focus on the Family radio program this last weekend.

Give it a listen . . .

Salt Recipe

In last week's message we talked about being IN, but NOT OF the world. In a recent World Mag article, entitled Salt Recipe, Gene Edward Veith offered these helpful thoughts about the family and its power to impact the world. So fits with our ministry philosophy at Grace . . .

Christians worried about the state of our culture often look for political and legal solutions. Others hope to turn things around by getting involved with the media and the entertainment industry. But culture begins at home.

Studies have long shown that the chances of a child growing up to become a criminal plummet to almost zero if he is raised by two loving parents. Two-parent families are also the most effective anti-poverty program.

One factor in the development of male homosexuality, according to Christian psychologists, is the absence of a father figure. The boy so yearns for a father's love that he becomes attracted to men. The effect of absent or emotionally distant fathers on daughters is that they so yearn for a father's love that they often become promiscuous.

I hasten to reassure single moms that none of these dire consequences necessarily come to pass. Christians, especially, have God's promise to the fatherless that "I will be a father to you" (2 Corinthians 6:18).

But Christians who want to strike a mighty blow in the culture wars would do well to build up their own families. Spouses must spend quantity time with each other. When they are both busy in their own separate spheres, they tend to become isolated. Married couples work to counter these effects by building time in their lives to spend with each other.

Parents must spend quantity time with their children. Many children spend more time with their peers than with their parents, which means they are essentially raised by their friends. If the statistic is true that the average father spends seven minutes a day with his children, he is not doing his job.

Often churches are part of the problem, with so many activities that add to the busyness of the week rather than encouraging members to devote time to their families.

Christians also need to recover the joy of family life, not a spirit of harshness, with the father trying to rule with an iron fist and the mother controlling her children with rigid rules and severe punishments. Ironically, this approach can spark the opposite of what is intended, breeding marital discord and turning children into rebels.

A revival of the Christian family would have far-reaching cultural ramifications. A network of strong and happy families would help stabilize American culture. They would also provide a powerful Christian witness to the cultural casualties who, on the deepest level, yearn for a family like that.

Baby Esther Newman

The Newmans are the proud new parents of Baby Esther, born yesterday at French hospital. I had the joy of holding and praying for little Esther last evening.

Sorry I don't have a picture of the baby, but here's a pic of the Newmans from last Sunday's dedication . . . Cade, Joy, Eli and Abraham. Great Biblical names. . .

"LT Conversation: Family Ministry" now available

Our very first "Life Together Conversation" is now available HERE. You can also listen right now. . .

This first conversation focused on Family Ministry. . . what it means, why it matters and why we're committed to it.

The above is a picture of Steve and me commemorating our kickoff Conversation. You can see we're getting juiced up. We're snuggling up so that we can both lean over into that iPod. Pretty low tech at this point, but it works for now. Our vision is to step up the technology and the quality as we go along this summer.

We'll let you know when this Conversation is available in iTunes. If you go to the Conversations page at the Graceslo.org website, you'll also have access to other resources related to or referenced in the conversation.

Give it a listen and give us some feedback. We'd love to hear your raw reactions and suggestions? Is this valuable for the family of Grace? What are your suggestions for speaking to a potential audience beyond Grace?

what size?

Brianna is sharing her insightful and vulnerable thoughts on having a BIG family over on her blog. . .

Just Showing Up

Our family has been watching Cheaper by the Dozen 1 & 2 recently and my kids have been asking that we add another 8 to our mix. Like it's that easy!

It is so fun to watch the dynamics between them. I never ever thought I'd have 4 kids. It's changing me.

We continue to talk adoption. Appreciate your prayers.

Friesen Audio Now Posted!

Last night's marriage seminar, with Paul and Virginia Friesen, about how to maintain the romance of your marriage was oustanding. . . . funny, Biblical, challenging, encouraging and very practical.

The audio is now posted on-line at...

http://mp3.graceslo.org/grow/mp3/specialevents.asp

If you missed it, would you please take the time to listen to it?


We had a good turn-out, but I wish every married couple and those who someday hope to be married would listen to this material.

We are living in a day when the institution of marriage is being consistently undermined and compromised. Here at Grace, we want to do more marriage enrichment stuff since marriage is the foundation of the family which is the building block of a community. Marriage and family are God's things. When we commit ourselves and submit ourselves to his design, we experience the delight and blessings that He intends.

If you were there, post a comment with one take-away from the lecture to encourage others to listen to this good stuff.