Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Divorce=very UNwise

Not only is divorce, in most cases, unbiblical, wrong and damaging to kids . . . . it's also unhealthy according to recent research and this recent CNN article. . .

Divorce Takes a Health Toll

As a pastor, I'm committed to doing whatever I can to preserve and grow marriages and prevent divorce. My experience is that couples tend to seek help too little and too late. Trust has already been broken to the point that it is almost beyond repair. Often one or both spouses have been internally toying with the idea of divorce. I beg and I plead and I try desperately to show them the devastating impact of divorce in every area of life, but more often than not, they keep plowing toward divorce anyway.

I think one of the things that needs to happen is that we need to work to remove the stigma of marital struggles in the Christian community. Because we think we're the only ones struggling, we tend to hide our struggle and present a false picture of reality to those around us. We look great in church together, but then fight all the way home. Somehow we've got to more willing to open up and share our struggles with friends and with church leadership and deeply cares and wants to help.


Susie and I have, do, and will struggle in marriage. Our marriage has been anything but smooth sailing and struggle free. We've had to and are still fighting for our relationship amidst crazy schedules and "pressure cooker" lives, not to mention a culture that cares less about marriage. You are not alone.

If you are married, your marriage is worth fighting for. Beyond a relationship with God through Christ, your marriage the most valuable thing you've got in life. It's worth your time, your money, and whatever else it takes to address your struggles in marriage. Believe me, divorce is going to cost you far, far more than even 5 years of weekly marriage counseling. Do not even let divorce be an option in your mind and heart. I believe the Gospel is the secret to a loving and life-long marriage. (But you're not surprised by that, are you?)

To not fight for your marriage is among the most UNwise things you can do in your life. Just read the first 9 chapters of Proverbs, if you don't believe me.

1 comment:

Mike said...

Amen to that! Marriage is not easy and why do we expect it to be anyway. Ephesians 5:25 says, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." So I am called to lay down all my "self" and serve my wife just as our Savior has served me, to the point of death. That doesn't sound easy. Ephesians 5:33 says, "...the wife must respect her husband." When I look at myself honestly, I can understand why that is such a hard thing to do. As hard as it is to "do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves" (Philippians 2:3), it actually has served to bring more joy into mine and my wife's life to grow in this. I can truly say, I love my wife so much more 13 years and counting than the day I said, "I DO". We have had to continually fight for our marriage and I am determined to keep up the fight. The Gospel tells us in Philippians 2: 5-8 that, "Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in the very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant...." If being a humble servant wasn't too low for the King of the Universe, should it be for us? "Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did." (1 John 2:6) What better place to live this out than in the second most important relationship in a married persons life.